Tokio Hotel WW81 (Pre-op Interview)

It's most certainly the worst thing that can happen to a singer: He's on stage and all of a sudden, his voice stops! The worst nightmare ever has become a reality for Bill Kaulitz, the singer from Tokio Hotel, at the concert in Marseille, France. Bill struggled, but he couldn't get out a single sound.--the show had to be canceled! "I was on scene and all of a sudden I didn't have any voice. I don't know what happened!" Said the singer in an exclusive interview with Bravo. His twin, Tom finished "Bill was standing in front of me, teary-eyed, he was totally desperate! I was really worried for him."

How do you feel now?

Bill: I'm not feeling so well. I'm afraid of the operation and I reproach myself for having disappointed the fans. I am very sorry for all those who are sad about it now....

What exactly do you have? And what is causing it?

Bill: Oh, I've heard so many technical terms...But with my own words, simple and comprehensible, my vocal chords are swollen. And because of that swelling, the vocal chords cannot vibrate properly. For me to be able to sing again, we'll have to remove it.

What will they do during the operation?

Bill: I really don't want to think about it. All that I can say is that it's really gross! The doctors will put me under anaesthetic and then put a iron bar down my throat, then they'll operate me. Then they will cut whatever's swollen. It's not a really easy thing to do-the operation lasts for about an hour, and there's only one specialist who can do it. I'm really afraid of anything that might intervene. But it has to happen (the operation), that's all. And the sooner it happens, the faster I'll be able to get back on stage!

What would happen if you don't get operated?

Bill: The doctors say that my voice could be wrecked-and that I could even lose it.

Are you afraid for your voice?

Bill: Yes of course! My voice is everything for me! Without it and without music I would never be the same Bill!

How long will it be until you can start singing again?

Bill: That depends on the healing process. It's different for different people. Normally, you need several weeks to "pause." I won't be able to talk for about 10 days. And then after I will have control visits every day, and then a voice training program-a re-education. My voice will have to be trained every day.

Has this been already "growing" since a while, or did it just happen all of a sudden?

Bill: I don't know exactly. It wasn't directly linked to pain. We just discovered that I had an infection during the tour.

What happened since?

Bill: Once arrived in Germany, I went from one specialist to the other. We wanted to be sure of their diagnostics. Since, I've had medical visits every day, unpleasant consultations, shots and medicines. I think this will continue for a while...

Who takes care of you now?

Bill: In fact, they're all here for me. Tom is by my side non-stop, and Georg and Gustav come visit me often. And I'm in permanent contact with doctors. And of course my family, my friends, and our team are all here for me.

The only concert in Germany had to be canceled, just like the rest of the European tour. Will you catch up on it later?

Bill: We're not sure yet. But we really hope!

How do you think you can take care of your voice in such a way that something like this won't happen again?

Bill: That's unfortunately not really possible. It's true that I use my voice more than others and that's why I'm at a greater risk of vocal problems. I'm already very careful with my voice. I even took singing lessons. I found them horrible, but I did singing exercises before each show to "warm-up" my voice. Anyhow, these kind of things can happen anytime. I'm sure they'll explain other specialized training methods after my cure and that after I'll be able to practice...

Would it be by any chance because you were just demanding too much from yourself?

Bill: We were on the road a lot-the first shows in the US, and then the rehearsals, and then the beginning of the tour. It was most certainly too much for me. And then I'm also a perfectionist; I always want to give the best of myself (aw!). I push myself to my limits, I just want every show to be perfect and perhaps sometimes, I might not see the beginning of a cold just because I don't want to see it!

How did the others in the band react when they realized your voice was giving out?

Bill: They worried a lot. They knew as much as me how things would have to go. And we all waited together for the first bit of information from the doctor. And we were left high and dry.

How many concerts will be canceled for now?

Bill: All of them, starting from Lisbon. That makes 16 lost concerts. A true disaster!

And up till now, are the whole tour and the US dates in danger?

Bill: We can't tell yet! We'll know for sure in a few weeks!

Are tour organizers and the fans really upset?

Bill: I had to first accept that I wasn't responsible for my sickness. I had lots of trouble doing so, and I reproached myself. The organizers aren't upset, but evidently, everyone's disappointed! We were so happy to be doing this European tour! I already received tons of fan letters. All of them were wishing for me to get well as fast as possible! It made me feel better and it helped me a lot! I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for having supported me; even in this difficult period. However, I will never be able to say how much I'm sorry about what happened. And I hope the fans aren't too disappointed. I would change it all immediately if I could! (aw, such a luv!) I hope that we can be pardoned this summer...